Once again, let me say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased my music and supports my career. I greatly appreciate it. I was told about some problems with the CD Baby website regarding purchasing my CD – but everything seems to be working again. Also, if you can’t buy it for some reason via the web, you can always purchase it over the phone at: 1-800-BUYMYCD (1-800-289-6923).
Thinking about my career, and the path that has led me to today, one of the things I am realizing is how much emotions have played a part. I find it fascinating that the society I live in doesn’t allow for many emotions other than feeling good. What I’ve come to see, is that life is full of many emotions: extreme joy to extreme pain; overwhelming excitement to paralyzing fear; complete boredom to all encompassing love; lust to repulsion; and on and on. I think we all feel all of these things. But we have been trained not to experience them (unless they are the feel good emotions). We numb them, try to ignore them, divert them into something else, try to change the way we are thinking about them, turn them into another emotion, make them into something “positive”, rationalize them away (or at least away from feeling them at that moment), and intellectualize the emotion rather than actually feel it. For some reason(I don’t fully know why) I have been allowing myself to feel. Many different emotions – including overwhelming emotions that I thought if I felt, I’d never recover from. Having come out of a dark, dark period, full of loss and pain, I can look back and see that allowing myself to feel and experience the feelings that were there, allowed me to grow beyond them. It has brought me closer to finding my “true” self. I don’t know what that means exactly, but I do have a sense of it. I can see it in my music. As I’ve said in previous blogs, there is more “me” in my music than ever before. Not that the songs are about me (many of them are not), but what I want to say is more clear to me, and I’m able to say it in a way I couldn’t in the past. I feel this has all made my music deeper. That is why I call the music from my latest CD, “Ready”, “emotional trip-hop”. The music has a trip-hop or “chill” vibe, but is all about emotion. And from where I sit now – today, emotion is life. Not to be run by ones emotions, but to acknowledge and feel them. To be alive. It has given me a clearer head and bigger heart.
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