The End of a Year

There is something nice about ending a year. It is a time in which I feel like I can reflect on my life, and then make a new start in the new year. 2007 has been a very productive year for me – I’ve had a lot of accomplishments this year. At the same time, it has been a very difficult year. Life threw a lot of stuff my way – things I didn’t necessarily want! But in looking back, I think it is those things – the bumps in the road, the unforeseen things that happened without warning – that enabled my accomplishments to occur. If it weren’t for those things, the goals I set out for would not have turned out the way they did. And I wouldn’t be where I am right now – with my outlook, my future goals, AND my accomplishments! In looking back at 2007, I’m starting to see a bigger picture. The accomplishment of living a life. Not CD sales, or number of acting roles or successes – but HOW I’ve lived my year. One of the major things I’ve begun to learn is to “go with the flow”. If you get lemons, make lemonade. Don’t ignore the lemons and wish they weren’t there. This has been a very big lesson for me. And I see, for me, it can be at the heart of creativity.

So in looking ahead at 2008, I do have some finite goals – especially with a new CD on the way. But I’m realizing that for me to have a fulfilling year, it means putting forth myself and my goals, and being willing to “go with the flow” of life at the same time. Include the bumps and the lemons. They will probably take me to a destination I didn’t ever know existed.

Also in looking back at 2007, I must say a huge, heartfelt “Thanks” to all of you buying, listening, and recommending my music, reading my blog, and living your lives. May you all have a fantastic and thrilling journey in 2008.

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The Unknown

I am only a couple weeks away from finishing all recording on my upcoming CD, which as of yet, is still untitled. It will be different from “Infinite Man”, as it is a CD of what I call “emotional trip-hop” music! If all goes as planned, it will be released in February or March 2008. What a process and journey it has been! The songs have transformed many times from their initial writing, and I’ve been transformed as an artist by the process. I’m finally finding my voice – not just my actual singing voice, but my artistic voice as well. Musically, these songs express me (whatever that is!) more than anything I’ve ever done before. Looking at the making of this CD, I can see that the most fulfilling thing has been including the unknown in the creative process. This is something I would have never realized without going through it. I don’t even know if it is something I could plan. I think it is more of a state of mind, an openness. In the past, I would have an idea and would go with it and that was that. This time, for some unknown reason, I wasn’t attached to any of my ideas. Songs changed many times from conception to recording. And my ideas about how to sing them, changed as I heard the arrangements and instrumentation take form. It has all been about discovering the songs. Searching until it “clicks”. And in the end, even I am surprised at the results! Also important, (again for some unknown reason to me) is that I’ve let go of perfection. Perfection has not been my goal on this CD at all. In the past (with singing AND acting), the hope of perfection was always showing its face, smirking at me while I was struggling to make good. That’s a losing battle for sure. I’ve now learned that for me, perfection is accepting things as they are. Not trying to be something you are not, or attain something that is not you. Perfection is from within, not from without.

I really do find life fascinating. I’ve heard many times how we only use something like 3% of our brains – or some small percentage. And from the process of recording this CD, and incorporating the “unknown”, I get a clear sense that there is so much more out there than what we have in our minds. I find that very exciting!

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